Is Someone Sabotaging Your Weight Loss?

If you are trying to lose weight and your spouse randomly brings your favorite junk into the house, you might have a weight-loss saboteur on your hands.  It would be a wonderful world if those who love us would help to lift us up and soar with the eagles, but this is not always the case.  It is not uncommon for others to fail to support your weight loss efforts or even to sabotage them.

It has been reported that about 30% of people trying to lose weight will experience weight-loss saboteurs, which is usually your family, friends or spouse.  This can be done in numerous ways including a negative attitude toward your diet or exercise program, bringing trigger foods into the home, manipulating your schedule to miss workouts, or simply creating drama that derails your efforts.

The reality of the situation is that your successful weight-loss can sometimes create a great deal of stress in your relationships with family, friends, or your spouse, possibly ending with termination of the relationship if you do not give in.

Why does it happen?

Fear and the insecurity it produces often fuels the lack of support you will get from others.  Losing weight will bring positive attention to you, and this could be threatening to your spouse.  When a member of the opposite sex sincerely compliments you, often with a sparkle of attraction in their eye, it gives a boost to your confidence and self-esteem, but it can do the opposite to your spouse’s.

Birds of a feather, flock together.  If others close to you are overweight and you raise the standard by making a dedicated effort to look better and live healthier, it might also cause an insecurity that they need to do the same. Your thinness can make their fatness even more evident, causing insecurity within them.

Gary Weiler, the eating behaviorist from here at Sensible Fitness Personal Training Center, says to ask yourself some questions: How stable is your relationship to begin with?  How much trust is there between the two of you?  What is the psychosocial history of the saboteur?  Do they have abandonment issues?

What do you do about it?

This is a tough one because I know the dynamics of relationships vary greatly, so there is not one answer to cure all.  I would love to say “dump the loser”, but rather will suggest you openly and candidly talk about your goals and ask for their encouragement. Gary adds, “Your spouse should not be your sole supporter, but rather your encourager.”  You should try to make your family, friends, and spouse a catalyst in your success rather than a by-stander to it.  Get them involved from the very beginning.

If the open communication route will not work, I would suggest using the unfortunate circumstances to make you stronger.  Your attitude and how you handle a situation can turn a negative into a positive.  View the lack of support or sabotaging as daily tests to make you stronger.  If you can overcome temptation underneath your own roof, you can handle it anywhere.  Let your determination shine!

While those that love you should support your every effort to make yourself healthier and happier, you simply cannot let them steal your joy if you do not get this from them. Stay focused and view all challenges to your commitment as test to your perseverance.  Each test you pass raises your weight-loss GPA and lowers the size of your next pair of pants!

CategoryNutrition

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